i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
