I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
