hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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