i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
