i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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