Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
