Can Purell be used as lube?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
