Im at strip club and am horny
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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