In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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