I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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