Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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