Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
