Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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