i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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