she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
