It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
