I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
