Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
