I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
