yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
