we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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