Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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