can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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