Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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