I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I believe in your delicious
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
