He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
