can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
