hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No subtext here. People are naked.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So squirting runs in the family.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
