My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
