We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
