:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
