then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
