She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
