She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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