have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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