What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
