he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
