I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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