lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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