life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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