I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
