he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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