She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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