So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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