I must be too annoying 4 u.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
