I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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