i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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