oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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