Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
