2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
