Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
