somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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