69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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